My Change

First off..

Hello!

I have been out of the internet world for a while, since before I left for Germany.  I haven’t tweeted outside of the infrequent retweet of The Enemy Lovers news as it comes and as far as facebook goes, I have just barely been checking it.

It’s weird, ever since getting back from Germany I have not been able to make myself think about it or remember to even do it.  When I was there I had no phone, no car, practically no internet, no constant email checking, no texting, no tv, not much of anything except family and music.  The main thing I was without while I was there was my wife so everything felt unsettled even if just a little, like I was on vacation but still working.  Very strange feeling that I was not really prepared for but I had to make do.

So for five weeks I pretty much only checked email Jen’s emails and deleted everything else.  Outside of Skype, that was pretty much my only interaction on the internet.  Upon returning home I waited about four days to turn my phone back on and enjoyed the feeling of being undercover in my own home.  No crazy texts telling everyone I was home, no emails saying that it was good to be home just me being home with Jen.  It was a great four days!  Two weeks later…

Emma Grace Scroggs!

One of the reasons I came home from Germany earlier and Jen was not able to come was because we were adopting our beautiful baby girl.  She was born on August 22 and is the most perfect and best thing in the world!  So not only was I out of practice with “social networking” becasue of Germany, now I had Emma Grace to take up all my free time and I was not about to give any of it up!  Some of you have seen her thanks to Jen’s multiple photo updates on facebook but for me I was satisfied not worrying about keeping my updates updated.  Emma Grace is three months old now and the fog has been clearing so I thought it was time to come out of my shell a bit.

There are so many things in my life that I thought would change because of Emma Grace, and things I thought would never change.  The weirdness was when the things that did change were not things I expected to change.  You hear horror stories and so many people tried to scare us with so many ridiculous notions about how life will never be the same and you will never have your life the way it used to be.  Such rubbish!  My life did change, and I will never have the life I used to have but it is all about the perspective.  In life change is the only constant.  Most of the time my perspective on things I don’t want to change make me feel horrible when they do change because I don’t think they should change.  But like I said, in life change is the only constant.  Change is actually the most beautiful part of life that seems to get put on life’s naughty list unles we embrace it.  Of course we love change when it is a promotion or a raise, a new car, or a second pet because we want that change.  We are actually hoping for it! But it is the change that leads us into the dark or takes us by surprise where we lose hope.  I bet if we were to think about all the times we were left in the dark of our lives because of change, are the times that brought us into such happiness and hope even if just for a couple minutes.  Once we learn how to live inside the change, life feels more at ease and we experience more peace.  Of course then routine starts to take its toll.  This is where a lot of times I sit troubled.  I hate routine and the feeling of the same things but I despise change that is trying to take it away.  This is one of my greatest ironic moments!  So I embrace change.  Sometimes it is easy but most times it takes grace, a lot of grace!  My life is completely different, change has come in with a broom that has disrupted most of it but why fight it.  I have the memories of my past life which I cherish but to experience them everyday would become mundane and suck the life right out of them.  I could of chosen to not adopt Emma Grace but then I would be who I was and not who I am, and I like who I am now.  I like the new version of me that has walked out of the dark room with not just things but another human life.  She is one of my greatest successes and she is only three months old.  Tomorrow change will come again and the day after and so on bringing me into more dark rooms in life and more places of rough seas but…

In life change is the only thing that is constant.  Cherish the memories of before and embrace it!

Talk again soon

Steven.

 

Related and suggested reading:

  1. Right time for an out-of-tune guitar
  2. The way we do things…
  3. The Swing
  4. Emotions
  5. Field of Dreams

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